Friday, 14 October 2011

Life: Rules for city living - part I

It's been a long time since I have written something here that would fall into the "life" category, but for a long time I have been wanting to write some rules and guidelines for city living somewhere. Today I had one of those days where everybody around me behaved insanely, so here is my social comment on it. Basically it's the do-s and don'ts of what to do when you are out and about in the city. The rules are at least valid for Oslo, but I am sure they also apply for other cities. And I am just as sure that there will be a part II one of these days, with more observations.

1) When you are in a grocery store, there are two cashiers and you stand in between two queues, you must expect to be passed on one side by others who have actually chosen which line they want to be in. Let's move this along swiftly, ok?

2) On top of escalators, don't stop one step after getting of it. There are actually other people that are coming behind you and they don't like to bump into you so that you all fall over.

3) On a bus it is never accepted to sit on the outer seat of the two when the bus is full without obvious reason for doing so, like supporting a large object or baby. We are all ready squeezed in there, make room so people can get out of the way and sit down!

4) And good people.. move backwards in the bus and away from the doors. In 1/20 cases you will not be able to get of the bus, but the odds are very low. If you observe someone wanting to get off, but the driver is about to close the doors, feel free to shout to the driver: "Hey, someone is getting off" or similar.

5) Never ever step on a bus, tram or subway if you smell of bad body odour of any kind.

6) Let people get off the bus, tram or subway, before you get on yourself. Just pure logic, people!!

7) If the bus, tram, subway is full, and you are by the door, but not getting off: Get off the bus, tram or subway to make it easier for people to get off. Then get on again. It is common curtsey to let these people be the first ones to get on the bus again.

8)Yes, we know that you have a baby trolley and that's ok. But if the bus is full and there all ready are 2 trolleys on the bus. Don't try to squeeze in a 3rd one. Generally try to avoid rush hour, ok?

9)If the bus is full and there is only a ticket register thing in the front of the bus, ask your fellow passengers to send it forward and stamp/beep it. That should be a very easy little favour job to do for your fellow passenger.

10) For men: We know that you have things between your legs, but we would also like some leg-space/ butt-space on the seat.

11) It's never accepted to listen to loud music on the bus, especially not techno. You know it's loud. Come on. I listen to music on the bus every day and it's plenty loud enough if you have good headphones.

12) It's never ever accepted to talk in a cell phone for more than 3 minutes on a bus and especially loud and screaming and talking about your latest pub crawl or sexual experience. Funny maybe on a good day, but mostly just sad.

13) If you bring a dog, ferret or cat on the bus, make sure it's not stepped on or next to someone who is obviously scared of the animal.

14) Get up for elderly, pregnant or people who have trouble standing. Youth doesn't always equal healthy, so don't force other people to get up. You don't know if they have a bad back or a coming flue. Make sure that the old are old enough to be considered old, or the will be very offended.

15) Your fellow passenger are generally just as nice and tiered and happy and sad as you. Give them a smile and a friendly comment and assume the best rather than the worst, and we will have a good trip.

16) When it comes to escalators in big shopping malls and especially train stations, walk to the left, stand on the right.

17) If you have to fix something in your purse or look for something in your pocket. Step out of the way, so that people can clearly pass you.

18) If you are a big group, make sure people can pass you even though you are walking slowly and babbling, people might be in a hurry.

19) Never ever suddenly stop when people are around you. Other people are walking too, and will run into you.

20) If you smoke, don't smoke on other people. If your don't smoke and don't like it, don't position yourself in the middle of someone else's smoke.

21) Never ever ever spit on a public street. That includes chewing tobacco or snus. Common curtsey.

I think that's it for now. Any comments, please?
(This might include spelling mistakes and grammar trouble, due to fast and excited writing).

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Veldig enig! Jeg blir dessuten veldig irritert på folk som går rett i hælene på meg selv om det er få folk og nok plass til å gå rundt eller holde avstand. Folk som stopper i toppen av rulletrappa er også utrolig irriterende – noen folk skjønner ikke at de må ta hensyn til at det finnes flere mennesker enn dem i byen.

Helene said...

Nei, jeg vet. Jeg blir helt sjokka, som du skjønner. Godt at det ikke bare er meg. Mange burde lese dette før de drar inn til Oslo på julehandel også, tenker jeg ;)

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